Saturday 21 June 2014

Beyond the Happily Ever After!

We grew up listening to our parents and grandparents go on and on about it. We were woken up at 6 on sunday mornings so we wouldn't miss out on the wonderful show on Doordarshan. We were given all sorts of different versions of the epic. We were taken to temples weekly to pray to the idol of the god in the avataar of man. We would witness elders blessing the daughters of the family saying "May you get a husband like Rama!"
Yes, I am talking about Ramayana.
The Ramayana that ended with Rama rescuing Sita from the clutches of Ravana and them returning to Ayodhya, with Rama being crowned king. Happily ever after!
Content with the happy ending, we never bothered much to find out what happened after, did we? How ignorant were we. The story that made our beliefs what they are today is dismembered and was told to us in parts.
There was more to the happily ever after, which is a pregnant Sita being abandoned by her husband to live out in the woods. Why? Because being a righteous man was more important than being a good husband for the Mahapurush! And his righteousness lay in doubting the integrity and chasteness of a woman who left all her royal comforts for 14 years of celibacy and a life of exile!
What he should have done is not giving a rat's ass to what other people say and show some faith in his wife. Yes, that would have been good!


Sita deserved every ounce of respect as an individual, as a fellow human being. Instead she was subject to a humiliating agnipariksha, out of which she emerged triumphant. Wasn't this proof enough of her chasteness?  Sita, despite all her endurance and strength, remains a woman who must bear her fate with fortitude—an unchanging archetype. Her values of unyielding loyalty, steadfast devotion and unconditional love despite hardships hurled at her by a patriarchal system are seen as ideal attributes for the Indian woman.

She was forsaken by her husband because some common man commented on her integrity. Being in the position that he was, Rama could have shut them up in no time. Instead he chose to desert his wife. If a husband cannot stand up to his wife, I'm sorry but he can't be portryaed as the ideal husband.
I think blessing someone with a husband like Rama has become passe now, and that the girls would rather you blessed them with someone more relatable in the present, someone who'd not just make tall claims of love, but be a good husband and father!

11 comments:

  1. Isn't that always the case. The good is long forgotten and evil resides on.
    Look forward to reading more of you :)

    P.S. Thank you for leaving a comment on my blog. Sorry to have not acknowledged earlier. In all honesty, I missed it. :)

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  2. Ramayana shows off the imperfections of humans(man, in particular).The imperfect nature of Ram to remain the ideal king to his junta triumphs over his ideal husband. His righteousness will remain his image in front of the masses. If he comes to her defense, he appears unjust, even if the claims appear to be untrue.In the current context, the most you want from a soul mate is to be trustworthy and loving, traits of a perfect world.

    Ironically, all through the Ramayana , all the major events have been triggered by the ladies and the men have appeared to be powerless enough to just swim with the tide.Something to think about.....

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  3. Nobody is sure whether these events took place or not, they are taken as a lesson for mortals that good triumphs over evil every time no matter how powerful you are, the other part of the story where Lord Rama is shown deserting his wife is again a lesson for us that no matter what the circumstances you should always respect the woman (in this case your wife). We can all watch these serials but what matters is the lesson we take from them.

    And about the blog entry, well said! & well summed up.. Real life examples are probably best for such scenarios :)

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  4. Can't agree more. But I guess it just goes to show that no one is infallible. Everyone is capable of poor judgment.

    I recently wrote a post on lessons we can learn from the Ramayana. Hope you like it.

    P.s - seems like some people don't have the balls to post comments without hiding behind 'anonymous' lol.

    Cheers
    CRD

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  5. Seasoned woman indeed..!!

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  6. Diksha...Its a well researched and well written post.I really liked what you have written.
    A man doesn't hold the right to question the character of his partner.
    If she was away from him,so was he...
    in such case even he is liable to a
    Agni Pariksha.
    Though Lord Ram was Purushottam most of his life but believing a trivial gossip and doubting wife is not wisdom.He maybe a God but where he is wrong he is wrong,that's it.
    A woman who has been through the thick and thin of one's life doesn't deserve this.
    And lastly,I would ask the Anonymous to be watchful of their words.
    Do not use derogatory words,not here not to her.
    Diksha,you are one of the few sensible and sensitive people I know which reflects in your writing as well.
    ...And you are coming back.Okay?
    You owe no explanation to anyone.
    People love you the way you are... :)



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  7. Now I know. This worrying about "what other people might think" and "what our neighbors might think" started with Rama.

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  8. Read a few of your blog posts. You write very well. Why did you stop?

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    ReplyDelete